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12 Jul

Confident In Style

Blogging 103


Today’s blog post is all about building that confidence to succeed in the modeling, blogging world and everyday life. I decided to write about confidence because so many of you guys have asked me how I got the confidence to put myself out there with my Black Mirror project and  blogging. So I’m here to share how I did it. Honestly, my confidence comes from me sitting down and having a talk with myself. It sounds weird but sometimes in life you just have to do it. I wasn’t always the most confident girl in life, in fact, the people that I grew up with back home in Africa are so surprised now, that I actually have a voice and that I am doing things right now that make me happy. I was the quiet one, the shy one. I was that girl that stayed in her room all day studying because I didn’t want to deal with the outside world and if you found me outside, I was walking with my head down. So how did I gain confidence, to get out of my room and walk with my head up high?  I’m still learning about myself everyday and  each and everyday I discover new things that makes me work on my confidence and love myself. So here are 5 ways I did that.

1. Change your thinking

For some reason we’re so hard on ourselves and that can put us into a very dark place that’s something so hard to come out of. I used to be that girl with so many negative emotions towards myself, such as, why do I look this way? Why is my hair not longer, I’m never going to be good enough or the girl next to me don’t want to talk to me because I’m not cool enough. This kind of thinking really did set me apart from others in a negative way. I had to tell myself that all improvements in my life comes from changing my beliefs about myself.
You become what you think of most of the time so if you’re so negative towards yourself, nothing good will happen for you in this life. If you keep saying you can’t do it, you will most likely not be able to do anything.
The greatest enemies of success and happiness are negative emotions of all kinds. Negative emotions hold you down, tire you out, and take away all your joy in life. You have to free yourself from these negative emotions to be confident.

2. Love yourself first

You hear this all the time from others and books that you have to love yourself before others can love you. It’s save to say now that I’m a bit in love  myself because you know what, that’s healthy to practice self love. All that comparing myself to others and wanting what they have did nothing for me. You really have to have to talk with yourself, find out what really makes you happy and if it’s what your friend have, don’t hate yourself for it of be jealous of her. Go over and congratulate her and find out how she did it. Be positive, be nice to yourself and learn from her, go home and work hard to achieve whatever you need. I will be honest with you guys, I’m not the jealous type because my parents from day one taught me that jealousy is hard to unlearn and it can damage you and your self image. So growing up I tried my best to avoid feeling like that. I used to be the girl that had no idea how to do things and wanted what others have but was not jealous of her. I just wanted to know how she did it and a good friend once told me, be nice to her and she might open up to you. So I did just that, it not easy but some people will help you succeed if they see that you’re confident, consistent in your actions and just nice to yourself and them. So yes, love yourself and it will make it so easy for others to love you and want to help you.

3. Look for the Good

This is one thing I actually really love about myself. No matter what the situation is, I always try to look for the good. Black to my Black Mirror Project, this section, always looking for the good helps motivated me, gives me the confident to put myself out there. I had no idea what will come out of this project but I told myself that whatever happened, there will be that one girl that got treated like I did and it will inspire her not to give up in life. It will inspire her to get up and keep working hard towards the things she wants and the things that makes her happy. That’s was the good I found in my project. The result was, not just one girl but many, the world felt it. I could have put myself down and talk about how I’m comparing myself to the other models but at the end of the day, it wasn’t about that. It was about how confident I feel about myself to share my story that now made me who and want I am. I believe that setbacks are part of a great plan that is moving me towards achieving the great success that is inevitable for me. I’m telling you today that confidence is build on believing that from everything that happens to you, positive or negative, there is a good in it:

4. Think of yourself Differently 

This is a very important one and this is what I tell people all the time when they tell me, Deddeh you’re so confident. I say to them, it’s because I think of myself differently. It easier to get caught in today’s society with all the social media and noise around us but if for a second, you can just think of yourself as that person that is so confident and that nobody can bring you down, that will happen. Like I said, I’m not always the most confident person but I like to think of myself as the most confident girl, I walk in the room with my head up high, talk to people from the heart and just be nice to everyone and they see me the way I see myself. Even super models have their not so confident moments but you don’t see them showing it at all and in the end, you look at them as the most confident people. Also you have to not be the football of others opinions. That will just kill your self-love and confidence if you’re always worried about what others think of you. The key to dealing with the concern about what other people are thinking is to realize that no one is really thinking about you at all. Now watch your confidence grow.

5. Be true to yourself

 If you’re the kind of person that wants to get along with people or just build your self image, this one is for you. You have to be true to yourself, meaning behave consistent with your self image. I know you hate fake people and others do too. If you want to love yourself, you have to be good to yourself and be true to who you are. If you do this, you will be able to stand up for yourself and speak out in public and people will want to listen to you.  If you are always behaving like a positive, optimistic, and cheerful person towards everyone, consistently without trying so hard then you love yourself and are confident and others are going to treat you the way you want to be treated. Most importantly in order to be confident, you have to know who you are, what you believe in and what you stand for.


Thanks for reading and hope we all can practice self-love and build our confidence.

Outfit Of The Day.


Top: Under Armour

Pants: Under Armour

Shoes: Versace

Deddeh Howard
  • Mariann Yip

    Thank you for sharing this! I’m no model but I think this can be applicable to everybody. I am all about self love, it’s extremely important to build that 🙂

    July 13, 2017 at 11:56 am Reply
  • Candace

    You gave some pretty great tips for building confidence! I was just like you as a child and constantly got picked on for stupid reasons. Now those same people look up to me and always ask me for fashion tips and I want to tell them to go wear a trash bag lol. Loving yourself is my favorite tip you shared. It took me a while to start doing that, but it’s made all the difference!


    July 14, 2017 at 7:13 am Reply
  • Samantha Mariko

    These are all great pieces of advice for people who are still looking for their own voice and for that boost of confidence. It also took me a while to grow into a more confident person, but it’s the experiences and the journey of finding what you love that really helps. Self-love and being true to yourself are probably the most important things, otherwise you’re just gonna keep comparing yourself to others which is a waste of time in my opinion 🙂

    July 15, 2017 at 2:46 pm Reply
  • Christine Kong

    Such an inspiring post! As women I think self confidence and self love is soooo crucial. I see that more being a mom to two girls. It is something that we all need to work on but once we have the knowledge and practice it everyday, it will make us happier in the long run. I love your tips and they are ones that we should all keep in the backs of our minds every time a sense of insecurity washes over us. It took me until college to find my own confidence but once you have it, rock it! Jealousy and comparison are definitely the culprits to watch out for! xoxo, Christine

    July 15, 2017 at 9:48 pm Reply
  • Marychristine

    Fearce and fearless

    July 15, 2017 at 10:50 pm Reply
  • Jenn Hanft

    Deddeh, you are always such an inspiration!! Seriously love this post. It’s so true that you have to love yourself and stay true to who you are in order to be confident. Self worth is definitely key!! Thanks so much for reminding us all that we’d be happier with these tips!

    With love, Jenn

    July 16, 2017 at 8:48 pm Reply
  • Bernice

    You are such an inspiration the way you have so much self love and encourage all your readers to practise a positive way of life xx


    July 17, 2017 at 2:16 am Reply
  • Ana

    Acabei de conhecer o projeto Black Mirror e adorei! Parabéns! Precisamos de mentes pensantes como a sua! O projeto é incrível! Você é linda! Continue mostrando do que TODAS as mulheres são capazes, independente de raça, cor, lugar onde mora, etc… Tem a minha admiração!


    July 18, 2017 at 1:10 pm Reply
  • Jessie

    Love your work on the how to blog series babe!!! I couldn’t agree with you with all the above points, especially #3 and #5. Being positive is so important, as a blog, our go through a lot of peaks of troughs for our works, so it is important to stay positive during all times. In addition to that, I just want to say how much I admire your style!!! this outfit of yours -> active wear with heels and clutch!! Gosh, if this doesn’t describe stylish, then I don’t what else would on this planet!! Keep up with the good work! Always love to read your content!

    xx, Jessie

    July 18, 2017 at 2:28 pm Reply
  • Thomas Falkenstedt

    These are issues I deal with daily and try to incorporate a new way of thinking into my life regarding who I am and my self worth. My list is exactly the same, only, I’d change places for 1 and 2 and put loving oneself first as that’s the key to everything according to me. This was a great reminder about what I need to reinforce and basically reintroduce to my brain every morning when I wake up. Only then can I be successful for real!
    Thomas xx

    July 18, 2017 at 5:34 pm Reply
  • Joanna Go

    I love your wonderful post on self-love and building confidence. These are all really great tips and you truly radiate confidence and beauty. I will definitely put all of these into practice everyday. Thanks for sharing!

    xo, Jo

    July 20, 2017 at 7:26 pm Reply
  • Jordan Chapman

    Sticking with blogging isn’t easy, especially with how saturated the industry has become, so these are great tips. I loved reading all of them and I think the fifth is the one that resonates with most people who are looking to follow this line of work. Your posts always share your confidence so all your work is paying off!
    Jordan xx

    July 24, 2017 at 12:51 am Reply
  • marcy

    Such a beautiful post babe!!!! Absolutely admire you and LOVED the black mirror project. You are such a inspiration for many girls out there. I sometime struggle with confident but yes talking to ourselves is one of the best examples specially all these tips are good to put in practice. Thanks for sharing.


    July 25, 2017 at 10:39 am Reply

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